Bad Mommy

I was e-mailing with my sister yesterday and she mentioned feeling a little inadequate as a mommy because she needed some help with her 1 year old twins while they were sick (she, of course, is a wonderful mother) I think all moms probably feel inadequate at times...like they let things happen or let their kids get away with something they shouldn't..if they need a little help when things get rough...they can't be Supermom. I know I have my shortcomings, in all areas. But my brats are fed, clothed, happy and loved...that makes it a little easier to accept the fact that I am not Supermom. Besides I think that some of the....adventures and situations my kids get into, when I am too tired or distracted to be Supermom, build character and curiosity..teach them lessons
Like right after I gave birth to Ava, Colin was 3 and mischievous. He liked to try to get outside and play without asking mommy, I was feeding Ava in the other room while he was supposed to be watching tv, suddenly it was very very quiet...that is never a good sign.. so I went on the hunt for my munchkin. I couldn't find him...I became frantic...ran outside yelling his name only to realize he had managed to lock himself in the back seat of my car (don't worry he was only there a few minutes). Not one of my shining moments..but he never attempted to go outside and play by himself again...Lesson Learned.

others are just funny, embarrassing or....disgusting...

I made spaghetti for dinner last night, it was a hit. While I was cooking I looked over to see Colin sticking an uncooked noodle up his nose. He found this hilarious, I think it was disgusting. Now I should probably do something to hinder this behavior as it will no doubt lead to an ER visit in the future..but I couldn't help but laugh with him...and I can't reprimand him while I'm giggling. If I was Supermom I may miss out on some of these moments...and I wouldn't give them up for anything.......not perfectly behaved children, no messes, no crying, no throwing of food or spilling of milk...no pushing and fighting over toys...no laughing at crazy things my 5 year old repeats or faces my 2 year old makes...................how boring!!

Nobody is perfect...and I know I can't pull off Supermom....but I love and laugh with my kids, so I'll take my life over perfection any day.
Krista

Why do we say such things?

Have you ever wondered where certain phrases or sayings came from? I do. I am sure that at some point in history these sayings were relevant or at least the people using them knew why they were used in the context they are. Most people however, do not know the origin of these expressions. Which brings me back to..why do we use sayings that do not make sense to us...or maybe it's just me.

Happy as a clam...are clams happy?...can they physiologically feel emotions?...and if so, should we really be eating them??

A basket case...I know what this means..but logically isn't this a case for a basket? That is a little redundant yes?

By the skin of your teeth...eewww..I mean.....just eewww

Cold turkey...Yum, cold turkey sandwiches the day after thanksgiving..mmmm....oh, sorry I got distracted. I love food.

Get your dander up....huh? dander...like pet dander or dandruff? I guess it would be aggravating if your dandruff was up...*shrug*

To hell in a hand basket...There are probably worse ways to get to hell, but that would still be pretty uncomfortable..who is carrying the basket? are they swinging it while they walk...I may get motion sickness(it would have to be someone big and strong carrying a ginormous basket to hoist my heavy behind!)

Mind your P's and Q's....be on your best behavior....what do letters have to do with my behavior? Am I being graded?? Will there be a test? I didn't even study!

The whole 9 yards....9 yards, that's like 27 feet right?(math was never my strongest subject) It really isn't that far. I don't think that is much to be proud of. Now if it was the whole 9,000 yards, there is something to brag about.

Just some random thoughts I wanted to share. There are thousands of other sayings and phrases I don't quite understand...but then again I can be a little slow catching on sometimes, so if you know how these relate to the way we use them, please enlighten me.(I hate being the last to know)

Krista

Day of pampering??

My lovely mother bought me a day of pampering at a local salon (in town of 5,000 there are only 1 or 2) to include highlights, cut and style and a 1 hour massage. Thanks Mom!

I arrived at the salon at 9 am for my massage appointment which by some fluke (or someones complete ignorance) was not on the schedule. They offered to do my highlights first then the massage at 10. Whatever, it didn't matter to me.

I sat down at the stylist station which was covered in products, hairdryers, scissors, combs and foils. Okay so she is not a neat freak...should this concern me? It does.

The stylist began cleaning off her station and preparing for my color. My hair is sectioned off, you know how they do with all those clips, and I look perfectly ridiculous. She takes her materials to get the color ready and I am thinking.. umm don't you need to ask me what color or something. I have never had highlights but there are different colors right?? So, trying not to sound like a complete moron I ask how I choose a color, is it just one that's a little lighter than my natural? Her response : They will be blond.
Excuse me?? What kind of blond exactly, I ask. In answer she shows me a picture of woman with medium brown hair like mine that had huge chunks of bright blond almost white hair throughout.

Are you freaking kidding me??? No way!! Of all the thought running through my head I only allow "I don't think I want THAT blond" to leave my mouth. The girl just stood there staring at me a moment, like I was the crazy one. Just as I was about to give in to my fight or flight response (that had kicked in upon seeing the picture) and run...she gave me a few other options. Once I had decided on a color that wouldn't leave me looking like a skunk we got started.

Or we would have if she wasn't so busy texting and answering her cell phone (which she also did throughout my whole appointment) How dare I intrude on her phone time at work!

Eventually she got started with the foil and comb applying the highlights at a rate f 1 every 19.5 minutes..I had like a million of these. Do you realize how long this took?! Needless to say, when 10 rolled around my head was covered in white goop and purple gum wrappers so I had to reschedule my massage. *sigh*

When the stylist finally finished the highlights (like 40 hours later) I was taken to sit under one of those hair dryer thingys...I sat on a small wooden chair that was pulled over under the machine. After about 5 minutes both my back and bum were complaining. 10 minutes later, just when I thought I couldn't take anymore and my bum was screaming complaints I was finally allowed up from my stylist induced torture.

Time to remove the gum wrappers from my head, wash, cut and style. Whew almost done and my stomach is only slightly rolling and my head only aches a little after 2 plus hours of chemicals and my stylists questionable knowledge.

I requested that she just trim and layer my hair... not much of a change. As she cut I caught glimpses of my hair in the mirror and the rolling in my stomach became a furious boil. Oh God, Oh God it looks orangy and I am wondering...what did I have for breakfast and how hard will it be to clean from the floor and this smock?

While I focused on keeping down my breakfast the stylist finishes my hair. I am afraid to look. Then the stylist says...
"Come outside to look because the light in here at my station is really really bad"

Lord help me...she has just cut and colored my hair and she couldn't even see!!?? I am going to be sick. My hair is probably butchered and bright orange! What am I going to do, how can I fix this??

Luckily, before I could have a complete meltdown we step outside, she hands me the mirror and after a few deep breaths I look.

And nearly faint in relief...even though it took 3 plus hours and certain parts of my body are still recovering, the final result was good. Not fantastic and not good enough to make me come back and endure this process EVER again..but good.

The stylist should consider herself lucky. If my hair had not come out looking at least ok, I would have either screamed, cried or shared my breakfast with her...maybe all three.

I will be going back next Friday for the massage. I will let you know how that goes.....If I survive.
Krista

Devil Cat

My children and I are staying with my Mom and Dad since we just moved here 3 weeks ago. Now that I am working I hope to have us moved by May. That is neither here nor there, just background on why I am sleeping at my mother's house.......

My mother has a cat....A Devil cat. She will not leave me alone! During the day she is the perfect feline but once the moon rises she becomes Heidi the malicious, beastly devil cat. She is evil. She comes into my room in the middle of the night and pounces on me, meows in my face and uses me as a scratching/rubbing post. I can throw her out and across the room, but she just comes back.....She is dense as well as evil.

Now to fully comprehend how seriously this affects me I must first enlighten you about my love of sleep. *sigh* If sleep were a man I would love honor and cherish him, I would marry him and be deliriously happy for the rest of my days...we could have little nap babies.

Alas sleep is not a man so I must continue in my day to day life and try to find a man I will love as much as sleep.......though that is not likely to happen.

So from this point on Heidi, the devil cat, is now banned from my room at night as she is intruding on my time with one of my true loves. (I have several we may visit at a later time)

Don't let the cute and innocent face fool you...

She is vicious!

Krista

This is my life..

Wake up before dawn
Children screaming, fighting, running
A million things to do today
Get up and go to work
10 hour days...patients complaining
You're not moving fast enough, I want this and I want that
Doctors yelling, patients swearing
running, running, I can't catch up

This is my life???

Mommy she bit me
Brother pushing, wails and tears, fits and fights
Food thrown from here to there
Dirty hands, dirty faces, dirty diapers
Fingers tugging, voices whining
Mommy, mommy, MOMMY....can't catch my breath

This is my life???

Papers signed, alone now with 2 children
Bills to pay, clothes to buy, meals to cook
Baths to give, fights to resolve, plans to make
Visitation with their father
Mommy mommy I want this, I need that...can we, can we please
Not enough time, not enough money, not enough me

This is my life???

Sleepy eyes in the morning
Warm hugs and sweet kisses
Band aids on boo boos, stories before bed
Birthdays and Christmastime
Bright smiles and funny stories
Mommy, mommy, MOMMY....
Mommy, I love you

This is my life.................and I'm okay with that.

Krista

Migration

So I am now 2 days into my new job.....and it is going surprisingly well. I managed to show up on time and fully clothed. Thank God. I did not forget all my training and experience, and I think I managed to make a good impression on my coworkers and supervisor. They just don't know me very well yet. Thankfully the pterodactyls in my tummy have migrated out to make room for the butterflies that only flutter on occasion. I am hoping by the end of next week all things flying, flapping and fluttering will have vacated my belly.

Here are a few random pictures just because......

Aren't my babies adorable!!

Krista

Pterodactyls in my tummy

I went for a job interview yesterday and was called back an offered the position within 2 hours...I'm just that good (kidding). But now I am sitting here thinking about the fact that I am starting a new job tomorrow and I feel like I have pterodactyls flapping wildly in my tummy. Any time I begin something new and unknown it always freaks me out a little. All the embarrassing on the job stories I have heard revolve unwanted in my brain. What if.......

I oversleep and have to run around like a lunatic to get ready, race there and get a ticket on the way (that would be my bad luck) and am dismissed from my new position before it has begun because I am punctually challenged. (is punctually a word?)

I arrive at work and suddenly realize while I have on my top I have somehow forgotten my pants....you know you have had this dream, It is terrifying. Just thinking about this possibility makes my stomach ache.

I find once I get there that I have forgotten everything I learned in college and at my previous jobs and just stand around looking like a ninny saying uhhh, ummm and yea alot. I seem to become inarticulate when I'm flustered.

These scenarios and so many more could happen!! Do you think I could be overreacting?......me neither.

Krista

Tears and Giggles

Let me share with you my baby's reaction to Americas funniest home videos. A few nights ago apparently there was a lack of anything worth while on television because we ended up watching AFV. Now every time some idiot did something stupid we would all laugh....except Ava, she would look over, bottom lip trembling and begin to wail.



She would soon recover but almost immediately some other dimwit would fall, crash or wound themselves in some way and again came the waterworks. I am unsure if my tot just has a huge well of empathy or if this was a normal reaction to being forced to sit through an entire hour of cheesy one liners and unamusing segues into each clip.......I'm leaning toward the latter. There were moments I wanted to bawl myself.
Krista

Confession

I baked a pineapple upside down cake for the first time yesterday. While no one was looking i licked the entire bowl clean...it was yum.

I read cheesy romance novels even though I know they are ridiculous and completely inaccurate in comparison with any real man I have ever met.

I have cried at cartoon movies (In Back at the Barnyard when the daddy cow, bull whatever gets mauled by wolves) I was stressed and hormonal at the time....I couldn't help it

I lied about my weight on my drivers license, thank heaven they don't attempt to verify...I would be soo embarrassed.

I am addicted to coke a cola.....caffeine makes me happy *sigh*

I have books that have not been returned to library in weeks. Okay months. Can you get in trouble for that?? Yes...well never mind then, I was kidding.

I laugh when people fall down. You know you do it too, it's freaking hilarious.

I have let my children eat food off the floor....*gasp* I know i know BAD MOMMY but their little hands are so quick and I swear the floor had been cleaned recently..I think. I am sure because of my poor parenting choice they must have some kind of bacteria living inside them, feasting on the cereal, pop tarts and corn dogs they have eaten. Lying in wait for the perfect moment to make itself known through all types of gastrointestinal explosions. Oh wait.....those happen every day and Colin will be sure you are informed each and every time! Well, they seem pretty normal right?





Krista

Outings with my Children are never boring

Yesterday was my Son's 5th Birthday. Now we had his party last weekend so his dad could be there, but he wanted to go spend his b-day money and go to the park. We loaded up and off we went. All in all we had a good time and here are a few highlights for your reading enjoyment:

On our way to the park we passed a Taco Bell and KFC in the same building, upon seeing this Colin shouted "hey mom, there's a Chicken Bell! Can we go there?"

While at McDonald's for lunch (we decided to fore go chicken bell) Colin asked if i could open his toy, but that i did not need to read the sextructions to him, because he already knew how it worked. This does worry me a little.

While frolicking in the park (i love that word...frolicking ha) Colin called out look mom while pointing to a few birds on the ground under a tree. Before i could finish my sentence of "oh yeah look at..... he took off running, screaming at the poor birds "Come here birds, I'm gonna stomp on you! Come back here!" Now my 2 year old seeing her big brother enjoying him self, quickly entered the fray chasing the terrified birds all over the park. Taking pity on the fowl i loaded up my heathens and headed home. I am grateful there was no one else in the park to witness my child's outburst as I'm sure they would be thinking...what must go on in the home that produces a child like that.

And finally, Colin's quote of the day: While talking to his Grandmother and I, I noticed him grabbing the front of his pants, you know how men do sometimes, and asked what seemed the logical question: Do you need to potty? "No, my bottom(referring to his male anatomy) was just sticking to my leg." Well, there you have it! Maybe he is getting old enough I can explain that honesty is not ALWAYS the best policy.

A few picture of our outing:

Who takes their children to the park on a day like this?......I do

This is in no way a reflection of my driving.

Krista

Thoughts on Child Trafficking

Hello everyone, This is my first attempt at blogging so if it sucks....I'm okay with that.
Note: My typing sucks, no...not my spelling but my typing and i give you fair warning that i am often to lazy to go back and find or attempt to fix my mistakes. I apologize in advance if my atrocious typing skills render any inappropriate words. all i can say is oops.

I have spent the last few days reading other bloggers archives and feel left out of this circle, i was never cool in school and I have a complex okay! Now I must inform you that my life is in no way very exciting or animated but i was inspired by others to write about my random absurd thoughts without care for what some may think. I am loath to admit that my computer knowledge is about zilch so i have had no blog or website as i am completely computer illiterate and will only serve to annoy myself while showcasing my shortcomings in this area as I attempt this for the first time. (whew that was some sentence huh? Did it even make sense? oh well)
The following is an exapmle of what may run through my mind at any given moment. Prepare yourself, it may frighten you.

I love my kids, really i do but today they drove me to lunacy! In my psychotic state this thought popped uninvited into my mind......ya know.. I think I could get a pretty penny for the small one..she is cute with bright blue eyes and has yet to pick up most of my disturbing habits and my sarcastic and sometimes annoying sense of humor that the oldest has. No one would pay for my 5 year old, he is a champion brat...he talks back, gets angry and yells at the tv, proudly announces to all within ear shot when he has farted (that he did not get from me! I have never passed gas in my life!) and is currently addicted to Wii, *sigh* I am so proud. My second child though is only 2 and there is enough time left to salvage her for a normal family somewhere.....you know, the ones that make sure their children eat more than cereal, pop tarts and corn dogs, who insure their clothes match and hair is brushed at least once weekly. (i know my mother wonders...where did i go wrong?) While talking to a friend today I mentioned my newest aspiration: after a short pause her response was " ummm....I think the price for that would be jail time"
Damn, way to burst my bubble Ginny!!
It may not be so terrible, I wouldn't have to pay rent and could obtain higher education for free.....but once I recover from my child induced delirium I may regret selling my second born.

Upon further contemplation I have decided that the brats are sometimes a little okay to have around, and I love them some, I should probably keep them both. Besides I don't relish the thought of me in a cell with a bunch of wackos...I mean I am totally normal....I sooo wouldn't fit in!

Readers, please do not send "The People" to my house to check my kids for malnutrition and psychological damage. I was just joking...........mostly
Krista